Packing

During Orientation, one of the other coordinators, Gina, gave a beautiful reflection on thinking about what we are (emotionally) packing for our journey. I've thought a lot this past month about packing - everything from malaria pills to school supplies to shoes. Today, as I'm putting the final touches on my suitcases, I feel like I am bringing an overabundance of "things." First aid kits, clothing, electronics - it's all there. Granted, I know that I will leave many things behind, but it still feels like an inordinate amount of stuff.

The most important bag I'm packing doesn't take any room though.

First, I feel that I am packing a complete and total reliance on God. There is nothing like preparing to lead a mission trip to a third world country to make you realize your own limitations. However, I know that "with God, all things are possible." (Mt. 19:26) Plans will change, things will happen - but no matter what, if we retain our reliance on God, His Will will unfold.

Second, I'm packing my vulnerability. My brokenness. I know that this experience will change me, will change the way I think about things, and cause me to grow tremendously as a person. If I knew what that would look like, I would have already tried to change and grow in these ways. It's uncharted territory. I am eager to allow these things about myself to be transformed through this experience.

I was incredibly humbled in a conversation the other day, by realizing just how little I know about the history and current situation of the people we are going to serve. Reading a few books and articles could never tell you the story of a people. However, the most important thing I'm bringing is really what ties this all together and makes this journey Vincentian. I'm bringing myself, my presence. I may not have a doctoral thesis on how to solve their issues of hunger or poverty, I may not have millions of dollars to create foundations, I may not even have a very good working knowledge of their language or their culture - but that's not why I'm going. I'm going there to love. The Vincentian charism is about recognizing the beauty, the dignity of every human person. I hope, through my presence, to tell every person I meet in Kitale that they are valued and they are loved. If there is one thing that still stays with me from my time in Ethiopia, it is that they have far more to teach me than I could ever teach them. And knowing this, I bring myself - and I hope to let them teach me how to serve them.

I depart tomorrow, still full of unknowns, but especially with great excitement. I'm packing my nervousness, but I know that's one thing that won't be coming home with me. I'm eager to see what those returning suitcases will hold.