Sowing seeds in my heart

I must admit, coming back from VLM, the question "where do I go from here?" was rather difficult to answer. I came back to St. John's and immersed myself in campus ministry for my final year. Decisions about graduate school and work opportunities were weighed carefully, but I still felt like I was being called to do more. Through my new community of fellow lay missionaries, I learned about the Gateway Vincentian Volunteer program that several VLMs had done in the past. St. Louis sounded like a new adventure, and before I knew it, I was graduating and off to STL.

This was really different from teaching English in a third world country. When you go somewhere like Africa, you expect to be surrounded by people suffering and doing without things we find to be necessities - anything from electricity to running water. When you go to an American city, and you realize that people live without heat, without adequate plumbing, etc - it's really quite shocking. Through the eyes of our community, we were able to see behind the scenes in many non-profit organizations throughout St. Louis. Our weekly reflections were one of the highlights of my life in community. It gave me the opportunity to see the universality of St. Vincent de Paul's charism. Jesus says in Jn 12:8, "For you always have the poor with you," and wherever the poor, the marginalized, the misfits, the forgotten ones - the little ones that Jesus so often mentions - are, that is the call of the Vincentian family.

Here is a copy of an article I wrote reflecting on my service experience at St. Louis Catholic Academy.

A phone crooked at the shoulder, putting on a student’s Band-Aid with one hand, buzzing open the front door with the other, and trying to run off copies of the weekly newsletter all at the same time has become a common-place situation this year. I came to St. Louis Catholic Academy to be the “Parent Liaison,” unsure of what that meant, but excited to be working with families - and the experience has definitely given me new challenges and changed my heart forever.

St. Louis Catholic Academy is an under-staffed, overworked Catholic school with a heart of gold. Located in urban North Saint Louis, with over 85% of the student body qualifying for free and reduced government lunch, it is a school on a mission: to provide a quality, affordable private education, especially for the underserved in its community. The beauty of St. Louis Catholic Academy is that, upon entering, one would never guess that this school is any different than any other private school one might encounter. The staff works tirelessly to find grants, aid programs, and ways to get new technology and state-of-the-art curriculums into the classrooms. The volunteer staff is irreplaceable, as they have been establishing a library (of mostly donations), working as classroom aids, and providing tutoring for those students who are enrolled in our after-care program.

The second glance at SLCA is really where the rubber meets the road. Being a Parent Liaison to families in such situations that they require so much aid has brought me joy, broken my heart, and given me new eyes to see the world. I spent a month covering full time for the secretary who was out on medical leave. One day of answering the phones and answering the front door – hearing the stories of why so-and-so is late, trying to track down parents of sick children whose numbers have changed 3 times, sifting through custody battles, lost jobs, grandparent caregiver illnesses, an angry parent trying to find someone or something to blame – all of this can awaken any range of emotions. Looking at the students, in their matching uniforms, it is easy to forget the roads many of them must take, every day.

So what is a Parent Liaison? I’ve spent the past year answering that question, simply by jumping in with both feet. We have 177 students, and 177 stories. A year has not been enough time to learn all of them, but they have all touched me. I have had the privilege of getting to know the students – their likes, dislikes, strengths and weaknesses – and sharing them with their teachers and caregivers. I have had the privilege of encouraging the beginnings of an independent parent organization, full of bright ideas and wisdom far beyond my own, to bring families together and get parents involved with their children. I have had the privilege of being a driving force behind several initiatives to increase school communication with the families – from phone calls to emails to a weekly newsletter.

Most importantly though, I’ve had the privilege of calling many of the people I’ve worked with “my friend.” They have taught me far more about life and about myself than I could have imagined. This position has become intimately intertwined with my whole experience as a Gateway Vincentian Volunteer. St. Vincent always strove to help the most vulnerable and marginalized in society. My worksite embodies the spirit of Vincent in ways I will continue to unpack for the rest of my life. He may not be mentioned or talked about – but there is a mural of him on the wall near the front entrance, and his charism is lived out here, every day. For better or worse, I’ve got the “Vincentian Spirit” in my blood – and this year I’ve experienced a blurring of the lines between work, service, and friendship.

“You will find out that Charity is a heavy burden to carry, heavier than the kettle of soup and the full basket. But you will keep your gentleness and your smile. It is not enough to give soup and bread. This the rich can do. You are the servant of the poor, always smiling and good-humored. They are your masters, terribly sensitive and exacting master you will see. And the uglier and the dirtier they will be, the more unjust and insulting, the more love you must give them. It is only for your love alone that the poor will forgive you the bread you give to them.” ~St. Vincent de Paul